I'm still here

I feel kind of bad that I haven't been updating much. I just can't help it! I think "I'm going to blog today) and the next thing you know it's 9:00 at night and I'm tired and don't even want to get online and mess with anything. Summer is bad for me for that. Looking back at my craft blog, I blogged SO much more during the colder parts of the year. I just can't seem to get any steam during the summer - I'm too busy trying to avoid the heat and actually doing anything.

But on to weighty stuff. I'm pretty much 100% certain that I'm going to see a gain tomorrow. I've been a piggy the entire weekend, eating fast food and chocolate ice cream. I knew when I was eating it that I shouldn't be, but I didn't care. I still pretty much don't care lol! I've noticed that not only does my craft muse leave me in the summer, but my willpower does too. I usually only eat once a day, late in the evenings and I eat a big meal. I drink cold drinks all day, varying from water to powerade to soda. I do what's comfortable, not necessarily healthy. My shopping cart this weekend consisted of a case and a half of powerade, two cases of water, lunch stuff for Paul and salad and sandwich stuff for dinners. I don't want to even cook on the stovetop, much less in the oven right now. On Saturday it was 106 degrees. Yuck!

I know a lot of my posts about the weather come off as whiny and bitchy and I know it's annoying. I need to remember that when I'm bemoaning how miserable I am. It's not fun to read.

Dinner calorie overload

I've been so good today. I had Curves cereal with fat free milk and half a banana for breakfast. I had a salad for lunch, and I'm just about to blow it with Chinese from my favorite restaurant. I beat on myself for about an hour before I said yes, mainly because I know weigh in is tomorrow and I didn't want to screw it up. However, despite cleaning all day long trying to put things away from our move last night, every kitchen surface is covered in junk, dishes, and other crap. Even my stove top. I'd have to clean for another hour at least to get things moved around enough to make a meal.

Truth is, if I pushed myself I could do it. I just don't want to. I've been moving and hauling and dusting and washing all damned day and I'm exhausted. I'm not even halfway done and that is bursting my bubble more than knowing I'm going to eat a calorie laden dinner. I'm mainly just frustrated and pissy because there's so much to do, so much STUFF that I have no where to put it. I've had it. I'm going to start throwing shit away, giving it away, because in the 12 years we've been together we've just accumulated too much stuff. I'm not a minimalist at all, but I like to be able to walk through the house without piles of crap falling down everywhere. I feel like screaming!

So, no excuses. I own it. I'm eating a crappy dinner, but I'll do better tomorrow.