I'm here

Hey ladies, I'm still here! It's been hotter than the hubs of hell here and I've been trying not to melt into the carpet. It's 103 degrees right now and our cooler and fans are barely making a dent in the heat. It's 95 in the house :( Waaahhh!

We're going to look in to getting a larger a/c unit in the next few weeks. We have to save up the money since it's going to be over $300 for the one we want. The scariest thing is that it's just STARTING to get hot, we haven't even hit the really hot part of the summer yet!

So I'll try to start blogging in the mornings when it's still cool, but if you don't see me for a few days it's only because I'm in the shower non-stop and don't want to electrocute myself.

Day Two - Blew it.

***Warning...TMI ahead***

Day two and I already blew my healthy eating. I'm not letting it stop me, but it made me feel like crap.

I woke up to a crime scene this morning, blood everywhere and a foul mood to go with it. After I got everything cleaned up I had a banana and a piece of toast with a thin schmear of peanut butter and a cup of barely sweetened coffee.

The first day of my period is the worst. I get cravings galore, headaches, mood swings and the poos. (Told you it was tmi, sorry) I wasn't feeling well so I took a nap and when I woke up it was way past lunch time and Paul had gotten home early. I decided to skip having anything for lunch when Paul offered to get me a Coke icee. I knew I shouldn't have caved, but I was weak. We had a great dinner of steak and avocado sarnies (which was delightfully healthy despite being sinfully delicious) and afterwards I planned on having some fresh pineapple that I butchered myself. Alas, after eating dinner I got this wicked craving for chocolate and so I poured a liberal handful over the strawberries and pineapple that I'd already put in a bowl.

It could've been worse. A LOT worse. I'm not happy with myself, but I'm trying not to beat myself up and just say "fuck it". That's what's caused me to fail every time I've tried to chance my eating habits or diet in the past. Instead, I'll get up in the morning and maybe have a bowl of oatmeal or another slice of toast and move on. I hate having to think so much about food :(

I've got to find a less junky alternative for when I'm weak willed during times like this. Maybe I'll look in to some 100 calorie desserts or something.